


Justice Is Served

by hotpocket_senpai



Category: overwatch
Genre: Cops AU, F/F, everything is fine, fake peed pants, hopefully misadventures, jesse and fareeha are police partners and they go around and do dumb stuff, present day, whacky adventures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 10:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15411327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotpocket_senpai/pseuds/hotpocket_senpai
Summary: In which McCree and Fareeha are cop partners and go on adventures in their popo car. Featuring useless lesbians and lighthearted fun. Nothing serious except for how seriously Fareeha and McCree banter like siblings.





	1. Peeing is Illegal

“Sure is hot out today,” Fareeha took a sip of her iced mocha and reclined her chair. She forgot to calculate how her full cup would react when she tilted backwards, resulting in mocha spilling onto her face and trickling down her shirt. “Gah!.” She jerked back up in her seat, trying to ignore the laughs of her partner.

“Should we go inside the Wawa and get a lil napkin for ya?” 

“Quiet, Jesse.” Fareeha frowned into her cup before placing it back into the cup holder and reclining again. It was a calm day for the Broward county police department, but that could change soon.

McCree reclined in the passenger seat beside Fareeha as well. “Good grief.”

A burst of static sounded throughout the police car, “We’ve got a uhh report of bike theft down by the beach. Suspect is a caucasian male, 6-7 feet, blonde.” 

Fareeha shifted the car into drive and McCree grabbed the radio to respond, “10-4 Good buddy, Amari and McCree headed out.” The radio slipped out of his hands as Fareeha’s crazy driving skills hurtled him around in his seat.

“You should have had your seatbelt on,” Fareeha emphasised her words by making a needless tire mark on the road and accelerating to 80 MPH.

McCree buckled in right as Fareeha stopped the car in a clean parallel park. Her iced mocha spilled on McCree, soaking his grey pants and the seat beneath him.

“You good?” Fareeha put on her cop shades and smiled at Jesse.

“I peed mahself,” Jesse laughed sarcastically and stepped out of the car.

Fareeha hopped out of her side and squinted at him, “Really?”

“No! But that caucasian male is definitely going to think so,” he rolled his eyes and stomped to look out at the beach. Fareeha walked up behind him.

“Any chance we have a hint as to where he is?” Fareeha walked up to the empty bike rack and stared out at the ocean.

“If I could guess I’d say he’s over there.” McCree pointed towards two people brawling on the beach. One of them matched the description but also fairly resembled a huge rat, the person he was fighting was a ginger beefcake. A tiny girl stood by the scuffle, shouting at them while gripping a bike. “Ho-ley mo-ley. You seeing this?” He gripped his belt buckle. 

No, Fareeha was not seeing this. She was too distracted by the hot lifeguard whistling at the people she was supposed to be arresting. 

“Fareeha? Fareeha look! Over there!” He grabbed her and turned her around.

“Oh, yeah. Holy moly. Let’s get down there.” Fareeha scrambled down the boardwalk, kicking up loose sand behind her. McCree chased her, the kicked up sand sticking to his wet coffee-pee spot.

The duo vigilantly approached the fight, muscles rippling through their shirts and sun shining on their dark skin. Before they could get close enough, the ginger threw the suspect on the ground and laid on his back.

“Oh my god, Brigitte? Aren’t you off duty? Get off the purp!” Fareeha pulled out her handcuffs and quickly shooed her friend off.

“I was just making a legal citizen’s arrest!” Brigitte retreated to the girl holding onto her bike.

“Did you pee your pants, loser?” the girl eyed McCree as he stood above the purp, out of the way of Fareeha.

McCree whipped his head to the girl, “Excuse me, I did not pee my pants, that is against the law and I am a man of the law!” He stomped a foot down in the sand in a lame attempt to be stern. 

The girl laughed behind her hand, “I mean, thanks for coming so fast I guess? But I gotta say, Brigitte helped me out the most.” she flipped her hair sexily and winked at Brigitte. The ginger blushed and flexed her muscles.

The girl began feeling Brigitte’s biceps, “Oh, wow, you’re more strong than I thought!”

“It’s my duty to the people to stay in the best condition I can,” Brigitte replied.

“Thank goodness you were working out on the beach nearby so you could help me out so quick,” she flipped her hair again as a sexy breeze blew through it, “maybe we should grab a coffee sometime. Or an energy drink. Some people have their tastes.”

The ginger smiled down at the girl, “I would love that, Hana. Later today would even be great!”

McCree rolled his eyes and turned back to the suspect, “Has he already heard his Miranda rights?”

“Of course. Not only is Jamison here being charged with petty theft, he will be charged with resisting arrest and attempted assault.” She hefted the guy up on his feet with one muscle rippling swift motion.

“I think you peed yaself, mate.” He laughed at McCree.

“What in tarn- No I did not pee myself! You’re sure one to talk, lookin like Gregor Samsa after he turned into a beetle, scuttlin all over the floor and making gross slime.”

Fareeha held out a hand, “that’s enough roasting, officer. Let’s take him back to the station. Brigitte is going to have to write a report about her performance since she was off duty and all.”

McCree huffed, “Good luck getting that to happen right now,” he pointed to Brigitte and Hana who were still playing lesbian limbo. “Let’s just get this sorted out, I want to change pants.”

“Yeah, and I want to go to taco bell, but that isn’t happening until we get him checked in.” Fareeha guided Jamison into the backseat of the cruiser, helping him get his feet in before closing the door.

“Why does it smell like coffee in here? I thought you peed your pants?” He unnecessarily yelled.

McCree suppressed his tears and took a calming breath, “Mr. Jamison, the real peepee pants here is you and your criminal attitude.”


	2. McLovin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The duo discovers their customized jackets and the building explodes.

Jesse wiped down his desk nameplate with a wet wipe, pretending that getting rid of a smudge on his nameplate would hide the clutter of open case files on his desk currently. He was so concentrated on the simple task that he didn’t notice Fareeha until she practically threw a medium sized box in his lap.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Jesse fumbled with the box for a moment before getting a grip.

Fareeha laughed, sipping her iced mocha a little too close to McCree for comfort. “Just open it.”

Jesse eyed her before slipping his pocket knife around the edges to cut the tape. As he opened the flaps, his face brightened, “Aw, it’s those customized office jackets we were supposed to get ages ago!” He frantically dug through the box to find his jacket.

“Yeah, well, apparently they’ve been sitting in the back of the station medical supply closet for a few months because no one noticed until that intern who put his fingers in Mr. Jamison’s holding cell had to get bandaged up.” Fareeha set down her mocha, losing her appetite from the mention of the severed fingers.

“Uh huh… uh huh…” Jesse fumbled through the jackets, “Amari… none of these jackets have the correct names.”

“What?”

“I think this one is… supposed to be mine?” Jesse held up the jacket, revealing ‘McBITCH’ emblazoned on the back. “You know, I’m not really going to complain because this is probably better than anything I’ve ever received from this job.”

Fareeha reached into the box, pulling out her ‘A MOON RING’ jacket. She slipped it on to feel the fabric, “Yeah, I kind of like these too. Makes me feel important.”

Jesse waggled his eyebrows, “Well a moon ring is really important to a fifth grader.”

Fareeha shoved him playfully, “Mood rings are for important people only. If you wore a mood ring it would just say bitch.”

“That’s not how they even work!”

“Says who?”

“Says McBitch!”

Before another word could be spoken, a muffled explosion shook the station. A Moon Ring and McBitch locked eyes and grabbed their weapons from their holsters. The station intercom crackled to life, “Attention all: please evacuate the building! Suspect Jamison Fawkes is attempting escape. Again, please evacuate the building!”

“Ho-ly mo-ley…” Jesse mumbled as they raced out of the building. Cracks were forming in the walls and a rumbling could be heard. The entire station staff quickly evacuated the premises, sadly forgetting the remaining jackets inside.

“Everyone, please step back! The building may give out!” The police chief Windholm ushered his staff farther from the building.

The rumbling grew louder until another series of explosions wracked the building. From the ashes of the doorway, 3 silhouettes could be seen. The ashes cleared, showing Jamison accompanied by a huge beefcake and holding a member of staff hostage. The woman was one of the forensics team. She was actually kind of Fareeha’s type, but now wasn’t the time to think of that.  
“Step away from the doctor, sir.” Chief Windholm ordered.

Jamison held her in place more firmly. “No can do-”

Fareeha pointed her gun at Jamison’s prosthetic peg leg and fired, knocking him down to his feet instantly. His partner in crime threw Jamison onto his back without a word and ran back through the building, undoubtedly escaping with the help of more explosives. Fareeha ran to the side of the doctor and helped her regain her footing.

“Thank you, officer… A Moon Ring?” her face scrunched up.

“It’s my duty to act efficiently to ensure the safety of all parties. I was one of the only ones who knew he had a prosthetic limb so I acted quick.” Fareeha smoothed out her jacked and admired the woman she saved. Yep. Definitely her type.

“Officer Amari! That was incredibly reckless but extremely smart. You know we’ll have to include your unprovoked shot in the report, but… if we’re speaking off the record, you did a good job!” the chief slammed a meaty palm on Fareeha’s back. 

“Officer Amari, huh? Well, I’m Dr. Angela Ziegler. Hope we’ll be seeing each other around at work. Although I think I deserve some paid time off for that.” 

The building suddenly blew up again, this time actually crumbling and preventing any entrance. Jesse came up to the pair and whistled, “Boy oh boy, I guess we don’t gotta work anymore.” He clasped his hands together with a dopey grin.

The chief eyed him down, “Justice never sleeps, my friend. You two will just have to be out in your cruiser a lot more and finish paper work at home. I have to go make a call to our higher ups to see… what exactly we’re supposed to do in a situation like this.” He pulled out a bedazzled flip phone and began punching in numbers with his meaty claws.

“What do we do for now?” McCree scratched the back of his neck. It was only 10am and the building was gone. There was really only one answer for what they could do now. Fareeha slowly turned to look at Jesse to stare intently. The two communicated with just their eyes.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Of course.

Last one to the car is a peepee pants.

The two burst into a sprint across the parking lot, leaving the Doctor in front of the fallen building. Fareeha rolled down her window and yelled across the parking lot, “You comin?”  
Angela cupped her hands around her mouth, “To where?”

“The Chik-fil-a indoor play place!” Fareeha shouted back.

Oh what the hell. Angela walked over to the car and hopped in the back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are always cops at the Chik-fil-a near me so if they don't play in the play area thingy then what is the point. Y'all remember climbing around on those things? That was dope.
> 
> Anyways, have fun.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Broward County is like South Florida, near Miami, in case you want to know where this takes place.  
> 2\. Gregor Samsa is a reference to a book we all had to read my freshman year of high school called metamorphosis in which a guy turns into a bug for no reason  
> 3\. Imma update this but every chapter will be a ridiculous adventure or office party so stay tunes and submit ideas if you have any  
> 4\. Thanks for reading lol


End file.
